sylvie kalbojehki~

~ Love looks forward, hate looks back, anxiety has eyes all over its head. ~

Sun, 15 Nov 2009 00:39:00 GMT

mom posted this
http://www.heartcenteredtherapies.org/go/docs/Journal%209-2%20Healing%20the%20Body-Mind.pdf
and I found this
http://www.trauma-pages.com/a/nijenhuis-2004.php
these are hard to read but I'm going to and then I'm going to edit this post so you don't have to read them if you don't want to, because ow.

Tue, 03 Nov 2009 23:49:15 GMT

finished, but I need to work on my color theory

fanart stress relief

SKETCH BLOG THE FIRST

Sun, 01 Nov 2009 21:25:07 GMT

for a contest at mangabullet
oh and it is not done

sketchblogs and butts

Sat, 26 Sep 2009 10:31:31 GMT

I'm thinking of making this a sketchblog-
and on that note, I seem incapable of drawing
because I am CONFIDENT everything I do is CRAP--
but I look at other peoples' work and it's what mine is,
and it's fine,
so why do I hate mine so much?

is it because I'm hungry? god damn it.

if I removed you from my friends list it is either because:
-i don't feel like I know you
-you are a butt

if you don't think you're a butt and you think I know you or you WANT me to know you, let me know.
but I am learning to have a spine, so I've been ...harvesting.

what do you think of the sketchblog idea?

Writer's Block: Dream Trip

Tue, 17 Feb 2009 17:01:11 GMT

If you could travel anywhere in the world, where would you go?

View 503 Answers

I would go home, honestly. This isn't a concept I feel I can adequately explain. I've never felt like I've been at home, except for very rare moments with my friends. I felt at home when I was seven with Maya rescuing princes. I felt at home when I was fourteen getting stoned with my bromies.... but. It's never been a permanent feeling. It is fleeting, a seconds affair. And I always feel a little sick after, like someone I don't like is touching me.

But more literally, I would like to go home to the States. I feel a little like a chickenshit for saying this (since I've only been here for a few months), but though Taipei is glorious in all its smog and jungle and hornets and puppies and stinky tofu, there are times when I am wracked with a homesickness so overwhelming it feels like I'm going to, well, throw up.

That's not an unfamiliar feeling. I felt like that a lot when I was a kid. My parents' divorced when I was five or six and never spoke to one another. So though their houses were only 2000 miles apart it felt like between them lay a rift in time and space. And smell. Smell is really prevalent wherever I am in time and space. The plane was the only place I felt at rest. Not at "home" exactly, but safe.

One time I fell asleep on the plane and thought I was going to my dad's when in reality I was on my way back to my mom's. It was possibly the most disorienting feeling of my life-- more so than several hits of acid and a dark campsite full of fire dancers.

I'm afraid that if I go back to the States, I'll want to come back to Taiwan.

To be less intimate-- I'd like to travel to New Zealand, Japan, and London. That's it so far.

Thu, 17 May 2007 06:43:58 GMT

Ha ha, I'm not getting married anymore, so um, sorry to all of those who were gonna be bridesmaids, if I DO end up getting married, you're still on my list ^_~
So um, yeah. Maya, I miss you a lot right now. 'Cause I see your stuff and your picture that you gave to Earthan when you were like, four, and it's so cute and I AM GOING TO GLOMP YOU AT TEH AIRPORT HAR HAR.
I got my glasses today! Now I look kind of like Saffy from Absolutely Fabulous (the one on the left):

Both my mother and my stepmother think they're Edwina and I'm Saffy.... it's rather silly.

radio under the influence of the fcc

Thu, 07 Dec 2006 11:49:21 GMT

I forgot to mention (esp to Maya)
tonight is our indecency show
well, right now is.... oops
we might do it again in january
right now I'm playing baby bitch
we played the freakin' fcc song from family guy
and it was fucking hilarious.
unfortunately... we missed that part on the recording.
if you're awake tonight or any other wednesday night/thursday morning from 3 to 5:30 AM
you can listen to us at http://www.kboo.fm/listen
or 90.7 FM

COMBAT CARDS 2.1

to fight kalbojehki
enter your username below

obligatory angst post

Tue, 17 Oct 2006 02:37:15 GMT

People who were raped can smell the sick smell of their own guilty sweat and blood on the breath of everyone they meet who it has happened to.

holy crap it's october.

Mon, 02 Oct 2006 20:24:45 GMT

I didn't even notice. I've been drunk. And high. A lot.
An explanation: .....I'm insane. Pretty literally.

I had this dream last night that involved Final Fantasy -_-... because I'm a dork. Someone (I assumed Mark) bought me a magical love video game book (!) that everyone but I hated. It was the story of tiny Tidus (I think my brain mixed up Kingdom Hearts 2 with Final Fantasy X-2 -_-) and Yuna after FFX-2, but I was Yuna, and my dad hated it, and so did Ani, so I started screaming at everyone and it was very confusing.

But meanwhile, in reality, I'm sitting in Mark's dirty work shirt with no underpants on and I have to be at work at 4:30. I should be studying but I'm reading about Iza and Maya.

Is that all? Sometimes I don't know who I am anymore. Oh goodness.
'I always do the wrong thing but for very good reason.' Fuck yeah.

edit 1:26.
my dad's okay, but may be in jail for 10 days.

Fri, 08 Sep 2006 12:49:45 GMT

http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/middle_east/5325590.stm

Watch this video, and tell me 9/11 wasn't staged. Tell me it isn't all a show.
..... SPAZOUT

Create your own! Originally Written By ga_woo, Hosted and ReWritten by darkman424

Reply to this post and I give you a letter of the alphabet. Then you select 10 songs (preferably songs that you enjoy) that start with the letter given to you and post them in your journal (with these or similar instructions).

lettterrrrr: A.

1. casey neill :: anger in motion
2. nirvarvna :: about a girl
3. david bowie :: ashes to ashes
4. dvda :: america fuck yeah
5. deadsy/orgy :: antipop
6. interpol :: a time to be so small
7. radiohead :: a punchup at a wedding
8. beatles :: a day in the life
9. faith no more :: ashes to ashes
10.pj harvey :: a place called home

do not worry

Wed, 06 Sep 2006 14:25:29 GMT

If I don't make sense....

Tue, 06 Jun 2006 22:11:57 GMT

LIES! LIES! THE FOLLOWING IS OUTDATED!!!

....and I've finally decided on a party. You're all invited, of course...

syvvie's birthday info

meet at todai at 11:30 on Monday, June 12th
340 SW Morrison St., #4305
Portland, OR 97204
Tel: (503) 294-0007

I think most of you know where it is, but if you don't, it's on top of pioneer place.
Lunch is about 15 dollars, but bring a little extra for drinks and stuff. In the past I know my parents have paid for people, but because of the whole lawyer thing, we've been really tight on cash, so please bring money. If you absolutely can find NO WAY of paying (short of whoring yourself), give me a call: 503-231-4722.

THEN: I'm going to teh arcade!! Weeeee!!!!!
I'll be at the Avalon-- SE 35thish and Belmont.
I'd like to stay there for a few hours, get full of endorphins, then collapse.
THEN! If weather permits, I'd like to go to Woodstock Park and drink bubble tea.
THEN! I'd like to make out with my boyfriend. You can watch if you want.

If anyone has any ideas of stuff they'd like to do on my birthday, go ahead and tell me... 'cause I'm lame and can't think of anything else.
I'd say don't bring presents but I'm greedy and like presents.
Seriously though, please don't worry about price or anything. If you have a shiny bead to give me, I'll die with glee. The food costs enough! Sorry about that!
Anyway, please tell me if you're going to come by responding to this post or calling me.
I think that's all. All plans subject to change as I am a quadruple Gemini.

Mon, 05 Jun 2006 22:17:46 GMT

must... do something... productive...
other than... sit in... my underpants....

Tue, 16 May 2006 15:31:57 GMT

why the HELL am i awake?

AHAYA!

Tue, 16 May 2006 09:18:56 GMT

I just saw the best movie ever in the whole fucking world god damn.

dolphins

Tue, 09 May 2006 20:12:38 GMT

I read in the BBC today that dolphins have distinct names for one another, like humans. (Your participle is hanging!) The way they found this out was by catching wild dolphins, recording their whistles, and playing them back at them.

That would be like if space aliens caught me, kept me in a tank, and played "Sylvia! Sylvia! Sylvia! Sylvia!" over and over and over again....

....

WHAT IF IT HAPPENS?!?!?

Thu, 04 May 2006 07:48:28 GMT

Ravyn:

rehearsal rambling

Thu, 04 May 2006 07:30:23 GMT

Tonight's rehearsal was much much better than last night's. Right now I'm at KBOO and on the air in 2 and a half hours... which is okay, I suppose, but I would like to go to sleep. Ira and Royal were really sweet to me tonight. I felt special. And no one in this show is a lech, so I feel okay with bouncing around in that tiny nightie. Thank goodness I could, because it was fucking hot. If you're coming to see TOMMY, bring a spray bottle and some hotpants. Fucking seriously.

Wed, 03 May 2006 07:13:01 GMT

god damn, rehearsal sucked ass. i have a killer neck/headache.
i need ribbon, but i'm (almost) out of money.
i love this song!

Tue, 02 May 2006 08:46:57 GMT

Must... stay... awake...
maybe... Mark... will come home....
*clunk*

....

*snooooooooooooooooooooooorrrrrrrrrrrrre*

sorry about the double post

Mon, 01 May 2006 09:15:04 GMT

Well, today is International Worker's Day AND Beltane... and if you're interested, you should go to the south park blocks at noon to show your solidarity with the marchers (the rally is about immigrant rights; it's a national strike). That's where I'll be. So... happy Mayday!

make a daisy chain for me?

WAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!

Mon, 24 Apr 2006 00:54:35 GMT

NAIL CLIPPERS!!
Yay!

Take the quiz at dicepool.com

WAAAAAA!!!

rambles

Wed, 12 Apr 2006 00:56:42 GMT

I should be getting off my ass and readying for rehearsal but instead I'm eating salt and vinegar chips and drinking grapefruit juice while watching bob's guide to ghosts. Poka got into the garbage and ... well, let's just say it involves Redge and a used condom. That's about it. It was embarrassing anyway.

Rehearsal is just like being at MLC. I thought I would miss the phrase "smartasses shut up" but I don't. I'd like to say that I don't disrupt rehearsal but, true to form, I always manage to start talking right when everyone else has shut their pieholes.

I'm way too sensitive. Whenever I'm being quiet and attentive, everyone else seems to be yammering, and Ravyn will yell at all of us. I know why she does it-- when everyone's talking it's fecking hard to figure out who's who, and also it... I dunno. Bleh. I've always been like this. I get caught into this "I gotta be a good girl" paradigm conudrum.

I wish I had a job. And could stop waking up at 4:30.

oooh! We measure people tonight! I'm so excited O_O

poop

Mon, 10 Apr 2006 11:25:04 GMT

I'm so tired I could like, pee.

Create your own Music List @ HotFreeLayouts!

thanks tycho

Mon, 10 Apr 2006 05:25:24 GMT

My sleep schedule is... how you say? Utterly fucked. I woke up at 1 PM, moved to the couch, and slept until about 6. Now I'm bored and wearing no underpants. Also, I have not showered in a long ass time. Daisy melted her adapter cord plugie thingie. So I watch weebl upstairs.

I had the most fucked up dreams.

I keep forgetting how old I am. And how big my nose is. I mean, in comparison to my face. Mark's nose is like... gargantuan. Me and that nose are going to have babies. Schozz babies. They'll be like water babies but less inclined to eat you.

I don't know what... should I go back to school? Persue some career? Or spend the next year holed up in my basement having sex and playing video games?

I miss a whole lot of people... Tahj called me this morning (which was totally sexy because as I was falling asleep I realized that her birthday is coming up and that I never called her back and she must be utterly pissed off at me). Christie wants me to come steal Nori from Arizona but I have TOMMY performances and can't make it. I miss Maya, too. At least I'm not a complete loser. I do see people once in a while.

Oh! I applied for a "comic genesis" account (AKA keenspace). They're sending me my password within a week. Once it's up, I'm hoping to actually do Apartment 69 on a regular basis. With Redge at my side, we shall rule the universe!!! ALL YOUR BUTT ARE BELONG TO US!!!